journal

And a letter to my darling Emma Grace. I just wanna say on the outset here, that I have been so blessed by, not only our real life friends, but also my online audience. For as ugly as my story sometimes was, people have been kind. Most people don’t know most of the story, not […]

April 24, 2020

Emma’s Fresh 48

And where has the time all gone? Someday i wanna show you Emma’s 48 hour photos. Her and i are both radiantly beautiful and happy as if God himself reached down into that hospital and gave me an angel to rejoice over. She has always been a good baby. I called her my “angel baby” […]

January 27, 2020

Emma is 3

My darling sweethearts This was on of my absolute favorite shoots of my two children together. On this day we were going to be going through our daddys things later that evening. It was 3 months since he had died. Jaxon had just done some modeling for Tortoise and the Hare and we were excited […]

January 14, 2020

Dear Jaxon Emma

You know- we have hit the one year mark of my husband’s passing. Thank you to all of you who reached out and sent cards, letters, gifts, food, and just said- i’m thinking of you. Honestly, i never knew what those things meant before this time. How impactful it can be to just reach out […]

August 21, 2019

Me again…

I get asked about these three topics a lot. I know that many of you reading this do not believe in God. That is completely fine and you are absolutely welcome here. I would love your ideas on how to cope with life’s harsh moments because we could all use more ideas on how to […]

July 22, 2019

Grief Abuse Addiction

This is us. For sure. If you are not sure you wanna read about the yucky or maybe I should say normal side of us… then you do not want to be here. I’ve been talking a lot about my no sugar ride that I’m on. It feels like I could do it for the […]

March 13, 2019

Time change- my marriage- and the gym.

These are a few of the things I kept from Steve’s belongings. I didn’t want to keep a lot of his things. Enough for the children to be able to know who he was in a tangible way. But not in a way that brings them confusion or strife. So I threw things away, gave […]

February 10, 2019

Details of Life

I know, in my head, that vacation is extremely important to the health and wellbeing of a person, a family, and a business. But to take time to get away is something I can put off for a very long time. I love to travel. With my whole heart. The last five years it was […]

January 26, 2019

Our Florida Vacation

The results of the autopsy showed that Steve had taken a drug called Fentanyl. You can google it and in no amount of time at all … realize that it is lethal. Taken in combination with alcohol it will kill you. Steve knew the danger of drugs. He knew he could be sold something he […]

October 16, 2018

The Truth

So many of you have spoken to me personally, thanking me for writing and being honest and open. For helping you to process something that you have been going through, too, and i’m so glad. I’m glad that it’s helping you- it is for sure doing something for me. I have many things i’m mulling […]

September 27, 2018

Too Much + Grace